


Secret

by nastally



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: 1969, Boys In Love, Brian is a treasure, Early Days, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, hand-holding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-23 12:51:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21320476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nastally/pseuds/nastally
Summary: Brian is a good secret keeper.
Relationships: Freddie Mercury/Roger Taylor
Comments: 51
Kudos: 104
Collections: Froger!Week 2019





	Secret

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Dawn of Aquarius](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18372263) by [nastally](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nastally/pseuds/nastally). 

> The 'hand-holding' prompt was requested, and so I wrote it.
> 
> This isn't necessarily set in the _Dawn of Aquarius_ universe, just inspired by it. 
> 
> Enjoy!

\- - -

It wasn't the first time in his life that Brian had found himself the keeper of a secret. He was, after all, quite perceptive and also fancied himself a good listener.   
Of course, this secret did not involve him directly.   
And yet, he often felt as though it did.   
After all, it was a secret which belonged to two of his closest friends. 

Roger talked about it constantly. He talked about it when he was trying not to talk about it. He talked about it indirectly, and his eyes spoke of it, and he often talked about it ad nauseum when he'd had one too many. Never in any great detail, of course. Only in emotional outbursts of questions and contemplation. 'How can he? How could I? Why shouldn't we? What would you do, Bri? What would you do?' 

Brian didn't know what he would do. The whole situation was not a simple one, and he didn't have the full story. 

Because Freddie never talked about it. He preferred to pretend that Brian knew nothing about it, and if ever situations arose where it became painfully apparent, Brian could see his discomfort and a hint of panic. He would retreat, like a cornered animal, grow quiet and make a swift escape. Or change the subject, laugh it off. 

But neither Freddie nor Roger were anywhere near as subtle as they clearly thought they were being, often much to Brian's amusement. He was frankly surprised that he was the only one who ever seemed to notice. But then again, he was the only one who knew. 

Every now and then at the Kensington, when they were with a larger group of friends and bandmates, all eyes on Miffer telling a filthy joke or Tim monologuing about Timothy Leary, Freddie and Roger would grow uncharacteristically quiet. And it always caught Brian's attention, the way Roger would clear his throat and lean on the table, one of his hands casually disappearing underneath it beside Freddie. Now Freddie, bless him, tried harder. He would leisurely light a cigarette, shift in his seat, cross one leg over the other and drop his fingers onto the table edge where they lingered for a while before he, too, finally reached under the table. 

And there was a glance. Always a glance, shared between the two. Not even so much as a smile, and yet it spoke volumes. 

Brian would sip his pint, smirking to himself, and marvelling how nobody else realised that the two of them were holding hands. 

It was quite sweet, really. 

Then there were little moments. Nights out when, moving to the music with the crowd, sweaty and merry from the booze, he was close enough to catch a glimpse of a meaningful grin shared. A flash of teeth, a wink, Freddie reaching over to give Roger's hand a squeeze that lingered. 

"What?" Chrissie would shout over the music, trying to follow his gaze, but the moment had already passed. 

"Nothing," he'd mouth back with a smile, drawing her closer, leaning down and pressing his lips to hers. Thinking how lucky he was that he could. 

Of course, things went a bit pear-shaped, eventually. And that was an understatement. There was Mary, and Liverpool and there was Jo. And for a while, even Roger didn't talk about it anymore.   
Brian worried, but it was none of his business, really. He didn't ask, not beyond 'Everything alright?', to which Roger mostly just sighed and nodded, before changing the subject. That is, if he replied at all.

Sure, Brian had raised a curious eyebrow when, upon Freddie's return to London, Roger had joined him in the East London flatshare. But there was another bloke sharing the room with them, so he wasn't going to make any assumptions. In any case, there were more important things to think about. Such as the slow and painful demise of Smile's record deal. 

And then the new year came, the beginning of a new decade, bringing with it a whirlwind of change. 

It wasn't until the fourth or fifth time in a few months that Brian had angrily slammed the door to the room he now shared with Roger and Freddie, telling them in no uncertain terms that if they didn't sort themselves out and stop their endless bickering, he wasn't just going to his parents' for the weekend but moving out. Period. 

It wasn't until he returned early one Sunday morning, perhaps earlier than they had expected him, and upon quietly opening the door to their shared room, found a sight _he_ hadn't quite expected. 

It wasn't until then that he knew. 

They were both asleep, which wasn't unusual. However, they were both asleep in Freddie's bed, a tangle of limbs. Brian looked at their hands atop the duvet, fingers loosely joined, and slowly closed the door again to go for a coffee down the road. 

He didn't say anything about it, of course.

But he noticed that the knowing looks and secret smiles, although rare, made a return, after that. 

This time around, neither of them ever let on. Perhaps Roger had become better at keeping secrets. And it was alright, Brian thought. At least the bickering wasn't so bad anymore. 

Eventually, they found John. 

He was a godsend, really. 

The young bassist hadn't officially been in the band for more than a couple of weeks when they were on a long drive back from a few pub gigs up north. The sun was setting and they were all utterly exhausted and more than a little hung over.

The Beatles were on the radio and Brian was watching the sunset, having packed his textbook away because there wasn't enough light to read now, not without giving himself more of a headache than he already had. Instead he absently listened to the music as the trees by the side of the road whizzed by. 

_In the beginning I misunderstood_  
_But now I've got it, the word is good_  
_Spread the word and you'll be free_  
_Spread the word and be like me_  
_Spread the word I'm thinking of..._

Brian stretched and glanced over at John, who was driving. What he saw struck him as a little peculiar. They were on an open, empty country road, but for some reason John kept glancing in the rear view mirror, a frown on his face. Finally, he reached up and adjusted it, tilting it down a little. His eyebrows rose up. 

Brian turned and took a peek at the backseat. 

Roger's head was on Freddie's shoulder, messy strands of hair hanging into his face. His hand lay on Freddie's lap, their fingers intertwined. As Brian looked on, Freddie sighed in his sleep and shifted, nuzzling against the top of Roger's head. 

Brian turned away and caught John's eye. Their youngest band member gave him a curious, mildly confused look before he returned his eyes to the road. But his eyes wandered back up to the mirror and then again to Brian. 

Naturally John was confused. After all, there was Mary. And there was Jo. After all, this wasn't the sort of thing anyone really ever talked about or expected. 

Brian didn't know John well enough to know what he made of it, so he simply leaned forward, turning the radio up. 

_Give the word a chance to say_  
_That the word is just the way_  
_It's the word I'm thinking of_  
_And the only word is love_

John readjusted the mirror back to its original position and gave a quiet hum, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel to the music. 

_Say the word, love_  
_Say the word, love_  
_Say the word, love_  
_Say the word..._

_Love_

Of course, neither of them said a word about it. But Brian felt it nonetheless. 

He was no longer the only one who was keeping their secret. 

\- - -


End file.
